Think your child has ADHD? First steps for parents

Think your child has ADHD? What to do first

Maybe a teacher mentioned something at pickup. Maybe you read an article and recognized your child in it. Both are good reasons to take a closer look, but neither is a diagnosis.

ADHD is common. According to a 2024 national parent survey reported by the CDC, an estimated 7 million U.S. children aged 3 to 17 (11.7%) have a current ADHD diagnosis (CDC). Restlessness and distraction are far more common than that, though, and they have many possible causes. The CDC points out that there is no single test for ADHD and that sleep problems, anxiety, depression and some learning disabilities can look similar (CDC).

That is why you won’t find a symptom checklist here. Whether your child has ADHD is something only a professional can say after a careful evaluation. Your job is a different one: gather good information and get the process started. You can skip the five-minute online tests.

Write down what you see, without diagnosing

In an evaluation, the pediatrician asks you to describe what you notice, how long it has been going on and how it affects your child and your family (AAP). The doctor also wants to know how things look in different settings, such as home, school and time with friends. Notes make that conversation much easier.

For two or three weeks, jot down what stands out. Short scenes work better than verdicts: “Got up from dinner three times” tells a doctor more than “was impossible again.” These questions can guide your notes:

• What happened, and what came right before it?
• Where was it: at home, at grandma’s, at soccer practice, in class?
• What goes well, and what can your child stick with for a long time?
• How long has this been on your mind, and were there changes like a move, a new sibling or a new school?
• How does your child feel about it, and what do they say?

Also gather report cards, notes from teachers and any earlier records from your child’s doctor. They often show patterns over time that are easy to forget.

Talking with your child’s teacher

Teachers see your child in a group, with rules and tasks that don’t exist at home. The American Academy of Pediatrics says teachers provide valuable insights for an evaluation, and pediatricians may look at report cards and samples of schoolwork too (AAP).

Ask for a real meeting instead of a quick word at the door. Ask what they observe, not whether they think it is ADHD. That is not a teacher’s call to make.

1. Briefly describe what you notice at home and ask whether they see something similar.
2. Ask about specific moments: circle time, independent work, recess, switching from one task to the next.
3. Ask what goes well and what already works in class.
4. Check whether the teacher would fill out a rating form or short report for your pediatrician later.

You decide how much to share. The CDC also notes that for children 3 and older you can contact your local public school system about an evaluation. For younger children, the contact is a local early intervention program, which you can reach without a doctor’s referral (CDC).

Preparing for the pediatrician visit

If you are concerned, the CDC says the first step is to talk with a health care provider (CDC). When you book, mention that you want to talk about attention and restlessness, so the office can plan enough time.

1. Bring your notes and anything from school.
2. Write down the questions that matter most to you so they don’t get lost.
3. Ask whether your child’s hearing and vision have been checked. The CDC lists these tests as part of ruling out other problems (CDC).
4. Talk with your child beforehand about what they want to say.
5. Before you leave, ask about next steps: who will do the evaluation, whether you need a referral and how long the wait is.

Pediatricians can make the diagnosis themselves, and they may refer your child to a specialist or mental health clinician if other concerns come up (AAP). Both are normal paths.

What an ADHD evaluation usually involves

An evaluation is not one test. The AAP describes several steps that draw on information from more than one source (AAP):

• conversations with you about your child’s behavior, history and family, often with checklists or rating scales
• information from teachers and other adults who know your child, like coaches
• a check of whether the difficulties show up in at least two settings, such as home and school, and actually get in the way
• a physical and neurological exam and a full medical history

According to the AAP, tests like brain imaging or an EEG are not useful for diagnosing ADHD in an individual child. Its guidelines cover children aged 4 to 18, and diagnosis is harder in younger children. The doctor also looks at whether something else explains the behavior or comes along with it.

At the end, you talk about the results. If your child is diagnosed, any decisions about support or treatment are made together with your child’s health care team. You don’t have to figure that part out alone beforehand.

Who evaluates, and how long it can take

According to the CDC, a primary care provider such as a pediatrician can make the diagnosis, and so can a mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist (CDC). Your pediatrician will know who does this work in your area.

Waits can be long. In the UK, the NHS says children may wait months or even years for an assessment, and that support at home and at school should continue in the meantime (NHS). Wherever you live, ask how long the wait is and whether you can get a call if an earlier slot opens.

If things are very hard at home or school right now, say so clearly to your pediatrician. They can judge whether something needs to happen sooner.

What you can do together while you wait

In the weeks before an appointment, it is easy for everything to revolve around problems. Plan small moments that are about something else. The games below don’t treat anything. They don’t replace an evaluation or therapy, and they say nothing about whether your child has ADHD. They are time together.

In Shape Breathing, your child slowly traces a shape with one finger and breathes along with it while you join in. In Statue Poses, you both hold simple poses and count a few calm breaths. In Emotion Charades, one person acts out a feeling without words and the other guesses. Laughing is allowed, and sometimes it turns into a talk about what anger or excitement feels like.

You will find more ideas among the calming activities. If your child isn’t in the mood, skip it. It’s an offer, not homework.

Talking with your child, siblings and yourself

Children notice when adults are worried. Tell your child in simple words why you are seeing the doctor: you want to understand why some things feel so hard. Ask what they think. Their view of their own day counts.

Siblings often get less attention during times like this. Plan a little one-on-one time with them, and explain what is going on as far as they can understand it.

And you? Many parents wonder whether they did something wrong. The CDC says the causes of ADHD are unknown and that genes play an important role (CDC). Guilt won’t answer the question. A steady, predictable daily routine is something you can work on.

You don’t have to carry this alone. CHADD runs local chapters and support groups across the U.S. and has a section and an online community for parents and caregivers. If you feel worn out yourself, mention that to your own doctor too.

Frequently asked questions

Further reading

• How to help a child focus: what you can do today