Chores for kids by age: a realistic list from 2 to 12

Why toddlers want to help

If you have ever folded laundry with a two-year-old, you know the scene. Every sock gets handed over one at a time, every towel gets a hug. It is not faster. But your child is all in.

That urge to help shows up early. In research with families in the US, most children helped at home from around their first birthday. Helping included things like sweeping the floor, putting clothes in the washing machine or setting plates on the table before a meal (Dahl 2015).

The CDC lists helping to pick up toys when you say “It’s clean-up time” as something most children do by 30 months (CDC, 30 months). The American Academy of Pediatrics puts it simply: young children are naturally eager helpers, so take advantage of it (AAP).

So start early, even if it takes longer than doing it yourself. Those slow minutes at the table are practice time and time together.

Chores for kids by age: ideas from 2 to 12

The list below is a set of suggestions, not a standard your child has to meet. Kids differ, homes differ, and not every family has a yard or a dog. The ideas for school-age kids come from a list by the AAP, which groups ages a little differently (5 to 7, 8 to 10, 11 to 12).

• Ages 2 to 3: match socks, put toys in a bin, carry a diaper to the trash, wipe up a spill with a cloth, hand you clothes for the laundry.
• Ages 4 to 5: put napkins and spoons on the table, clear their own plate, water plants, put shoes on the rack. By age 5, the CDC lists simple chores like matching socks or clearing the table after eating (CDC, 5 years).
• Ages 6 to 7: make their bed, set and clear the table, put dirty clothes in the hamper, sort laundry, empty small wastebaskets, rake leaves.
• Ages 8 to 9: vacuum, help make dinner, make their own snack, put away their laundry and the groceries, walk the dog.
• Ages 10 to 12: unload the dishwasher, change bedsheets, do and fold laundry, clean the bathroom, cook a simple meal while an adult is nearby.

Most items in the last line are ones the AAP lists for 11- and 12-year-olds, so treat that row as a stretch. New chores get added to old ones: a ten-year-old who helps cook still sets the table. Anything involving knives, the stove or cleaning products needs an adult close by at first.

Show, help, watch, hand over

Many chores fail not because kids won’t do them, but because nobody really showed them how. “Set the table” sounds simple. For a child, it hides a dozen questions: How many plates? Where do the forks go? A four-stage approach works for almost any job:

1. Show: You do the job while your child watches, and you say what you are doing. “Plates first, then the knife on the right, the fork on the left.”
2. Help: You do it together. Your child takes one part, like the forks, and you do the rest.
3. Watch: Your child does all of it. You stay close and step in only if they ask or get stuck.
4. Hand over: The job is theirs now. You check briefly afterward and point out what went well.

Break bigger jobs into steps you can see. “Vacuum your room” becomes: pick things up off the floor, get the vacuum, do under the bed, put the vacuum back. With a school-age child who hasn’t had chores before, the AAP suggests adding one new task at a time, because a long list can be overwhelming (AAP).

The results won’t be perfect at first, and the AAP says not to expect perfection. If you redo every job behind your child, you are telling them without words not to bother. Praise the effort rather than the outcome, and compare your child with themselves a few weeks ago, not with a sibling.

Setting up a chore chart that works

A chore chart is a simple overview of who does what and when. It hangs where everyone walks past, usually on the fridge or in the hallway. The AAP describes it as a visual reminder for the whole family and suggests doing chores at the same time each day (AAP).

• Make a list together of everything your household needs each week. Kids are often surprised how long it gets.
• Give each child two or three regular chores that fit their age. Younger kids get a picture instead of a word.
• Tie each chore to a moment, like “after dinner,” instead of “sometime today.”
• Rotate jobs every week or two so nobody is stuck with the trash forever. Magnets or clothespins make swapping easy.
• Leave room for check marks. A check next to a finished job shows your child what they got done.

The AAP also suggests regular family meetings to look at how it is going and to ask kids for their own ideas. If you prefer planning on your phone, the Teselora App lets you set up chores as cards with single steps, and your child only sees what is due in the morning, afternoon or evening.

A child’s own bedroom is a special case, because almost everything in it belongs to them. This article is about the jobs that keep the whole home running.

Pitching in versus earning points

Should kids get something for doing chores? Parents disagree on this all the time.

In one experiment, some 20-month-olds got a small reward for helping, while others got praise or nothing. Afterward, when no reward was on offer, the children who had been rewarded helped less often (Warneken & Tomasello 2008). That is a single lab experiment, not daily family life. Whether the result carries over to life at home, it doesn’t show.

A simple split works well at home:

• Family jobs are part of living together, the same as for the adults: plates in the dishwasher, shoes on the rack, helping set the table. They earn a thank-you, not points.
• New or disliked chores can come with an extra at the start. Points or stickers can come for a while, until the job runs on its own.
• Honest, specific praise always fits: “You took out the trash today without a reminder.”

The AAP mentions allowances and stickers tied to finished chores as one option, while putting honest praise first (AAP). If you use points, give them right after the job and never take them away.

When your child refuses to do chores

Sooner or later the excitement wears off. Before you get stricter, look at what might be going on.

• The job is vague. “Help out a bit” doesn’t say what to do.
• The job is too big. “Clean the kitchen” is a lot; “put the cups in the dishwasher” is doable.
• Every result gets corrected. Kids who only hear what went wrong stop trying.
• It feels unfair. The older sibling has three chores and the younger one none, or a grown-up skips theirs.
• The timing is off. In the middle of a game or tired at night, almost nothing works.

The AAP warns that kids who are asked to do too much, or whose results are always criticized, can feel overwhelmed and resist taking on anything at all. Badgering and scolding don’t help much, says the AAP; encouragement and rewarding successes go a lot further. If chores keep getting skipped, the AAP suggests a calm consequence such as losing a privilege (AAP).

• Make the job specific and small, with a set time.
• Let your child choose between two chores instead of assigning one.
• Do the first few rounds together. “I wash, you dry” is easier than “You do it.”
• Agree ahead of time on what happens when a chore is skipped, and keep it linked to the job: if the table isn’t cleared, it gets cleared before playtime.
• Lead by example. Kids notice exactly who does what around the house.

Fair shares for siblings and grown-ups

Chores feel fair when everyone has some, not when everyone has the same. A seven-year-old and a three-year-old can’t do equal work, but both can do real work. Say out loud that the split is about age, not about who you like more.

Grown-ups belong on the chart too. When a parent also has a column, the chart stops being a list of orders and becomes a family plan. If a chore causes fights for weeks, swap it. Sometimes it is simply the wrong job.

Frequently asked questions

Further reading

• How to get kids to clean their room without a fight